Richard Laxton's 'Grow Your Own'

Never ever heard of this film before a rental copy appeared in my living room, I suppose it wasn't that popular on release, although why I can't understand. I. Fucking. Loved. It.

First off the main role was Benedict Wong, a great actor and comedian, most known for his role as suicidist in Sunshine and of course, Errol in 15 Fifteen Stories High (if you haven't watched it, fuck off and watch it now, I command thou).

The title itself threw me off, it sounds too similar to one of the many bad Engcoms that get released every year. I know before I've tooted on about how some of the best comedies come from Britain, and that's not patriotism speaking there, I fucking hate this country, it's more from an analytical viewpoint. But I mean the ones just full of whacky characters, all set in middle-class quaint Britian, Love Actually for example.

In fact I want to quickly take a side-rant here. Is it only me who was absolutely cunting disgusted with what Richard Curtis put into the start of that film? Paraphrase: 'When the planes crashed into the two towers the people on the planes didn't send messages of hate on their phones, but of love.' An unforgivably despicable use of an event which has changed our world, and will no doubt reverberate for years to come. It's like saying Hitler wasn't wrong, just misunderstood. Cunt isn't strong enough to explain the revulsion I have for him. And yes, I understand it may seem a bit harsh to compare Curtis to Hitler but in fact yes, Richard Curtis is the filmic equivalent of Adolf, the poncey fuck faced dick shitting etc. etc.

Ahrum, back to the film. First off the setting. Like most Engcoms it's focused around a small community of people, all part of something quaint and fairly British, something most of us here can relate to, or know a degree about. In this case a set of allotments. Most of us might not have one or use one, but we know what they are, and we have an idea of the type of people who may have such hobbies. Plus since it's British we can't help but chuck in a bit of the old class warfare, social inequalities and immigrants.

In 'Grow Your Own's' case it's do to with immigrants and how they are perceived by the English, specifically ones of a fogey persuasion. The age group that are of the majority on an allotment. The premise of the film is that a governmental immigration group are helping out people with problems. How do they do this? By giving them a patch of land and letting them grow their own food as a hobby. The idea being, fresh air and working with your hands will help them mentally and give them a place of respite. They manage to get three different immigrant groups into the allotments in this film as well. A South African mother and son who's father is dead and are trying to get through it. An Iranian family who are in constant fear of being deported or sent to a detention centre. And then there's the core family, Benedict Wong and his two young children. All three have escaped from China for reasons I won't explain because it would ruin the most emotional scene in the film. Wong's character has broken down mentally after losing his wife and is incapable of doing anything by himself. His daughter has taken the role of parent and looks after her dad and younger brother.

There's the English trademark of complex romances, pathetic characters overshadowed by their fathers, unstable marriages and general unhappiness. An unhappiness which is somewhat relieved by their escape from the stress and depressing nature of day to day life in their 'plots of heaven'.

When the group of immigrants first come to the allotments the locals all team up, disgusted with the 'invasion' as they call it, and want rid of them. Not to mention generally being ignorant or rude to them. That is until all three groups start ingratiating themselves with the locals, showing them they have something to give back. Things take a more complex curve when a real horror of a woman comes from a phone company to install a telephone tower, and the locals have to decide which one of the three immigrant families has to lose their plot.

The comedy itself is sublime. It's never over the top, and the writers haven't tried to force jokes into every scene or sentence. I wouldn't say they're few and far between, but paced well enough to let the drama play without unbalancing it. Everyone has a story to tell and although several of the characters aren't too well drawn it doesn't matter as such, after all we're not interested in everyone on the allotments, only the core 8 or so characters.

Benedict Wong plays the most interesting of the three families. The play of emotion across his face gives you brief glimpses into the horror and fear he's suffered throughout his life, which is certainly handy since he speaks very little throughout the film. Also there's no flashbacks to help you understand his suffering, but that's because you really don't need it, his eyes say it all. It's remarkable how much emotion he can cram into each scene.

Like most small Engcoms there's a whole host of old and new famous Brit faces, something you'd rarely find in a American comedy, since they all demand high wages.

There's the old social commentary going on, not thrust in your face like a bad tea-bagging incident, but there to see if you want too. The chairman of the allotments was a policeman of 35 years. Yet despite being a supposed 'pillar of the community', he's a selfish, racist biggot, who wants his way or nothing at all. Each of the characters also seem to be hopelessly lonely, their day-to-day lives and marriages not giving them what they want from life. Even in the allotments there are divides between the characters, but when your plot is your bastion of self, it's not surprising why.

And the way it's shot, beautiful. It's somewhere between the lines of the grimey, odd angled shots from 15 Stories High (see, you need to go watch it) and a gritty BBC dramatisation of something or other. None of the houses that you briefly look into are Holly Oaks perfection, but much more how you're house would really look. The allotments also have that day to day feel, the sheds are cramped, dark, smeared with soil and generally, well, real.

Basically if I ever made a film, I hope it looked and worked like this one.

3 Series Rule

3 Series Rule

This rule applies more to comedies than other form of television program, as such that's what I'm going to focus on for this little rant. The 3 Series Rule is quite simple, many sitcoms, sketch shows and mockumentaries don’t survive three series. By this I mean that either by the third round the show will either jump the shark (a phrase coined after an infamous episode of ‘Happy Days’ that means the show has become overtly ridiculous), or will lose sight of what originally made the show so damn good in the first place.

Gimme Gimme Gimme is a good example of the rule. Albeit a show lost in time and memory it was still extremely funny, or at least from my remembrance, 'There's no such thing as gay, it's just laziness'. I remember tuning in to see these two hapless protagonists scheme, drool and dick about after any man that was unfortunate to be written into that weeks episode. Gimme Gimme Gimme aspired to the classic underdog formula which has survived the decades and created many of the best comedies in the English lineage. However, by the third series the show lost it’s edge, the characters original charm had been lost. One critic I remember reading described the decline in quality being down to the show’s writers attempting to capitalise on what made the show so popular in the first place, stretching and milking it for all it was worth. Of course this saturation turned the fickle audience away and after series three it disappeared into the depths of static, only to be found now on DVD rather then repeated on any digital channel.

The same happened to Coupling, series three lost the chummy, sexually explicit yet socially acceptable banter it had generated over the first two series, and it turned into a farce of itself, being overly rude and deigning more and more ridiculous plots. And series four, lest said the better.

Aside from the writers trying to package and re-sell the original charm or humour of a show, another sure-fire to get your series dumped is too replace key characters (coupling again in S4) if they’ve left the show. After watching 12 or more episodes we’ve come to learn who these characters are and their overall impact on the show itself. Replacing them, especially with a character reminiscent of the one ‘that got away’, just feels odd. It’s like coming home to find the hamsters died and your mum’s replaced him with a parrot, it just doesn’t feel the same.

The plot or story itself is another problematic area for a third or subsequent series. With a now-set cast it’s difficult to introduce new characters into the fray, which means you have to re-cycle old gags, romantic ties between the main personalities of the show or, worse of all, change locations or situations. Look at friends, albeit hugely successful and astonishingly making it’s all the way to a 10th season, it became a somewhat inbreeders paradise. The six characters got together in a myriad of ways throughout the series. The show became introverted, obsessing over each of the six rather then bringing in many other new single use characters. I admit they still rocked up here and there, but with the constant flickering of romances, most especially whimpering prick Ross and vain, dull Rachel. Once you had Ross and Rachel together again along with Chandler and Monica that only left two other characters to look for romance outside of the circle. And that wouldn't do because they were the male and female 'comedy relief', which is I admit a strange phrase to use in a comedy.

The jokes themselves are another problem. The writers probably only expected a single series, so they chuck all their best gags into it, which of course turns it into a big hit, since laughs is the name of the game in comedy. So when they’re contracted to make a second series or more, they need to think up new jokes to keep the comedy going, only usually by the second or third series they’re more interested in the big fat paycheck they’ll get, rather than for reasons of love or care of the show. Although I should say here I’m not tarring every comedy writer with the same brush there, some do genuinely love the show they’ve created and nurtured. The Red Dwarf creators have been through hell and high water trying to secure money to continue making the show (series 8 had the same budget that Victoria Wood’s Dinnerladies had), and Graham Lineham did an impressive and surprising amount with Father Ted, which would of continued if it wasn't for 'Ted's' death.

Although many have fell on the wayside, some shows have stood up and broke through the barrier, in some cases making their best episodes in later series’: Red Dwarf made it to 8 series before getting the chuck; Only Fools and Horses, Black Books, Dinner Ladies, Bottom and others made a third series just as brilliant and fresh as their earlier ones. Last Of The Summer Wine has now been going for 24 fucking series! (Which also makes it the longest running comedy in the world).

On a special note I should mention Blackadder, a comedy which defied the norm in practically every way. Whereas normally we get a main character who is a nice character, or at least cheeky but loveable, Ben Elton gave us ‘Slack Bladder’. A character so cruel, spiteful and selfish you couldn’t help but cheer him on for success. Elton even survived the locational problem of comedies, filming each series in different timelines and surroundings. Although it kept the same core characters the situations had changed; from a soldier in the trenches, to a Elizabethan court hanger, to a prince’s butler, yet it was easy for us to follow the new plot of our anti-hero, (underdog formula of course). It’s also widely accepted and agreed that the final series ‘Black Adder Goes Fourth’ was the greatest and funniest of all four. Ben Elton, and grudingly I suppose I should also tip my hat to Richard Curtis did an impressive and unique thing.

As shown, there are exceptions to the rule, but that’s mainly down to the law of averages. Yet for every one survivor, many, many more succumb to themselves. Some shows are so constricted in their ideas, characters and plot that further episodes rend the original charm and quality null, the show devours itself, and a final series that is seen as bad, tarnishes the preceding ones. The sign of a good comedy writer is one that gets out while the going is good, Spaced, Black Books and The New Statesman among many others knew when their time was coming up, when the situation wasn't going to allow for much more. Besides which, changing up of a show allows for something new and different to appear. If we lived in a world of nothing but sequals it would be a shite world indeed.

Red Caps

Not as such a movie review, more an opinion post. In fact this'll be the first opinion post on here since I started it. And since my title does say reviews and opinions i should really put one up. This post is a review on shit films and they're titles, specifically red cap films.

By red cap films I mean any movie who's title is emblazoned across the posters in simple arial font, all in caps and coloured red, occasionally in a 3d effect, but more than usually not. There's a whole host of these films coming out, multiples of the bastards every year. Most of the time they include at least one member of the American 'frat pack' (Adam Sandler, Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller et. al), or as I like to call them, the one trick ponies. This constant shlock of crass, childish humour erupts into our cinemas, sucked up by idiots in their hundreds of thousands who seem to believe these are good, funny films. Not to say crude humour can't be good, but it depends how you wield it. Having somebodies severed foreskin fall into somebodies soup for example, isn't particularly funny. Whereas in Peter Greenaway's 'The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover', Michael Gambon's character is so rude and disgusting, but it's executed perfectly, making it much funnier than Adam Sandler getting kicked in the nuts by a dwarf, or whatever.

American Pie. when that film came out I loved it, thought it was brilliant. But in the years that followed I found the jokes less and less funny, although it could still be said to be a measure post of how to make a funny red cap film, it's much better than most of the stuff that has come out following in recent years. It's a shame they spoilt it with sequel after sequel, spin off after spin off. The jokes were rude, the situations were ridiculous, but there was an underlying reason as to why it was funny. These were kids soon to graduate wanting to get their rocks off, and although arguably a bit too old to just be discovering sex as the film portrays, there was a basis. In the films of new; Big Daddy, Anger Management, Chuck and Larry blah blah blah it's just rude for the hell of it. As soon as it nears summer these filmed are crapped all over the television, internet etc. Usually with Adam Sandler on the front, playing the repetitive likable but flawed goon, Will Ferrel playing one of his million identical different characters, Ben Stiller attempting an almost Graham Chapman feeling of seriousness despite the surrounding situation (albeit badly), Vince Vaughn generally being an arse and Owen Wilson playing the simpering, nice and somewhat camp, Texan.

Blurgh, I don't want to see these characters doing the same old same old, over and over again in different films, in fact I don't want to see them at all. I don't agree with pirating films, it destroys diversity in films. But if there were any films that should only be sold as pirated copies it would be these red caps, just so the actors would get sweet f.a. and hopefully fuck off into the night. Attached to this post there is a list of some red cap films. Most of you out there would argue with me and say they were genuinely funny films and that I'm a bloated twat with illusions that I know what's best. The latter may be true, but. These. Aren't. Funny.

Also note I'm not singling out these films alone, there's too many out there for me to stick on this list. Also some of the frat pack et. al have gone without a full red cap title for their films, 50 First Dates as an example. Don't fall for it, they're the same as all the others, shit.

mark mylod's 'the big white'

i found this film sitting in a bargain bin in a wall mart here in shenyang. i didn't know what it would be like since it was only priced at 3 and a half kuai (about 26p) but it did have robin williams in it. i'm not as such a robin william's fan but lately he's been cropping up in alternative comedies (take note here of danny devito's brilliant and crude film 'death to smoochy') instead of the typical mainstream pulp (RV is a good example of this). and after seeing him play serious roles such as 'insomnia'. 'patch adams' and '24 hour photo' it's good to see he's not just a mediocre comedy actor, but also has real acting talent. so after seeing it included robin williams i thought i would give it a shot.

the blurb on the back of the dvd case doesn't give you much information about the film. all it says is that a broke travel agent is finds a dead body and uses it for financial purposes and at the same time two nasty people are also after it. this is a good thing since it meant i was totally thrown off by the beginning of the film.

since it's set in alaska the predominate colour in this film is of course white, from the snow covered land and mountains of the local town, to the bleak and lifeless insurance building one of the characters works in. although not as such a subtle reference to say, bitterness or heartlessness of the characters or even insanity as it was used in 'insomnia' it's more just for the fact it's set in alaska.

the opening of the film is sublime looking. vast mountain ranges covered in powdered snow, all pristine and white. as the camera pans over an ice covered road we see a woman in pyjamas and slippers running through the snow. instantly i thought to myself 'ah, that's where the body comes from', which looks even more likely when the woman collapses on the road side. instead it's not, she is picked up by the local sherrif and turns out later on to be robin william's wife in the film. in fact the corpse is presented in a much more novel way. after this beautifully shot scene we see the local dumpster by a lit up sign. people come and go in their cars and dump their refuse in it before driving off. the last shot in the montage features a birds eye view of the dumpster. a car drives up to it and two men get out and run to the boot. as you can already imagine they're dumping a body in the dumpster. as they chuck it in and the lid of the bin closes it's the end of that scene.

i could write out the plot but that would be pointless, so instead i'll focus from a media perspective. first off, the camera. although not exactly original in the film it's a film which doesn't need to be, or at least that's how i feel. sadly the director at some points decided that since it was an alternative film it needed to have some alternative camera work. as such we are 'treated' to two shots which are shot from foot level where the camera races along, jumping and jaunting about. it doesn't as such fit in with the rest of the film, and is slightly jarring. there's not much more to say about the camera because as i stated before, it's not entirely original.

now, idea for plot. i liked it. it wasn't something that needed heavy explanation since it all goes through at a steady pace and doesn't tax you too much. although i enjoy storylines that challenge me or make me think things over, with a comedy i would much rather be able to sit down and understand my way through it. and the big white does this, and yet still is able to be alternative in it's story line. one thing i like and which is pretty rare to find in an american film is that their are several things which are left open, never explained and which i know would annoy several people i know. a few examples of this would be whether or not robin william's wife overcomes her mental illness, also if her illness is real or she's making it up, why the guy was murdered by the two men, who the two 'hitmen's' boss really is and also where woody harrelson's character (raymond) has been for the last five years.

now one thing i would like to say is how much i liked the two hitmen. in most comedies when you get the hitmen characters they are always bumbling idiots. these two characters boarder on the edge, but pull it back and keep it sensible. in fact there is a very quick discussion between the two guys which is spoken in honesty about how it felt to kill the man, to which it's answered 'i don't want to talk about it'. in most films a moral or mental discussion like that would of been ignored. the two hitmen would of killed before but yet still simply be idiots. even when they hunt down robin williams they manage to do it by their own accord, rather then overhearing something or stumbling along. one thing that really touched me in the film is when you see the two guys attend the funeral of a character they accidentally murdered, and at which they are both actually sad, instead of a godfather respect sort of vibe. even when the hitman accidentally shots this character he screams out 'oh god no' and cries (this is despite the fact this guy just tried to murder them!). this is one of the selling points of the film to me. the dialogue between these two characters and their form of acting works well and adds a sense of realism to their characters which is missing in most other comedies (i would to add the jewish and black mobsters that collect [find characters real name] from his house, it's too ridiculous to be taken seriously).

to sum up this film is a good comedy if you don't mind it black, with a bit of gore (not to much mind, just a small scene) and some tourettes swearing in it which is thankfully never played over the top