HSA loony

another advert, another insane women. this time it's HSA's turn to mock the mental stability of the female gender. advert plot: women sitting in her car with husband and children, wondering about their health problems, now and in the future. each time she makes a comment about a family member and their well being her little sock puppet pops up and talks to her saying, 'hey, just say'. clearly a sign of insanity. she's oblivious to the fact it's her SODDING HAND that's talking to her, it's all perfectly normal. maybe you should add 'psychiatric wellbeing' to your list of health problems me dear.

the rise of mentaly unbalanced women in adverts can mean only one of a few things. 1) there's a lot of mysoginistic men out there in advertising land. 2) this is revenge for the 'men are all cocks' campaign that's been going on in the last year or two (see charlie brooker for more details). or 3), women are really all insane and adverts are starting to admit this.

that nutjob in the specsaver ad

has anyone else watched that new specsavers ad where the daft, if milfy, mum accidentally sets her turkey alight instead of the pudding? very clever add i suppose but with one major problem with it, and that is, why would she be serving the pudding before the turkey anyway?

my answer, she's a fucking fruit loop. just think she had no problem placing those other christmassy foods on the table, plus locating the brandy and match, so there can't be much wrong with her eyes. she's a loony. we don't see anyone else in the advert, plus there's a decided lack of general christmassy jollities in the background, which suggests to me she's on her own. my belief is that her whole family died in a freak accident of some kind, let's say drive by shooting, which caused her to drop a few mental pounds. result, insane old lady on her own christmas day wandering about the house with a turkey on fire.

mad cow

that spice girls add

i have to say i do enjoy that new spice girl advert for tesco. not that i like the spice girls what so ever. working in a dvd and record store means we get that sort of shite pumped through the speakers day in day out in order to promote our chart cds. if not the spice girls than high school musical soundtrack (my brain has recently turned to mush thanks to that fucking album). no i like it because of it's subtle analysis of the individual spice girls just before their regrouping, i think it sheds light on why they've got back together.

the advert starts off with that sticky, wobbly hipped one sauntering into tesco, as if somehow shopping in the supermarket would account for a sexy gait. first thing she does is go up to the dude in store and he suggests ipods, basically ignoring who she is becuase this mans obviously got common sense and realises he could easily squash 500 out of those lanky leather clad hips no problem. of course it's not just the wobbly one in the store, all five of them are. the curly haired union jack one, the stupid fringe one who failed at being a punk if i remember her first post-spice girl song correctly, the busty one who married someone famous then it all cocked up, and the other one.

as to the reason to why the spice girls have been stuck back together in order the insult the ears of the general public... wobbly arse has tons of cash, as we see from her buying ipods for her 'girlfriends'. in her case it's for the fame, expressed as such when she pretends to pose on a television in her fly glasses (by which i don't mean wickidy wickidy wack kind of fly, more the eyes of the pesky insect). she's doing it for fame darrrling, as a solo artist we all saw, and heard, how shite her music is, so by getting back with the other ones means she can't be singled out for being crap. the other four are much more simple, they're skint. whilst 'she who can disappear by turning sideways' buys ipods the other four have had to raid their kids piggy banks in order to buy over sized cardigans each worth about a fiver, crap toys and novelty gifts for their 'girlfriends'. afterall, why else would the other four be shopping in tesco if they had tons of cash? they'd be in harrods buying the identical items for an extra 150 quid a pop.

nice one tesco, increasing sales through getting the spice girls to flaunt your wares, and at the same time mocking all five of them. i likes it